just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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