Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
