There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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