I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
