whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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