Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
