my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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