Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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