is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
