If that was your dad, he is hot
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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