I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
