When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
