Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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