Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
