my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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