So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
