Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
