either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
