I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
