yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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