The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
