mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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