Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
