It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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