her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
