She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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