Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm passing your future prison.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
