found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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