our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
