You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
