We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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