I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
