i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
