now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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