marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
