it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
