You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Congratulations! We have a period
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
