theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
