Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
