Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
