Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
