last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
