we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
