Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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