i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
