thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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