Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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