Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
