the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
