Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
