Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
