Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
